05 June 2013

"Charge of the AP readers"

Next week I'll be scoring the free-response questions AP US Government exam. A friend who shall remain nameless penned this tribute to the roughly 600 people who will spend eight hours a day for six days reading roughly one million essays.

Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
"Forward, Readers!
"Charge for the exams!" he said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

"Forward, Readers!"
Was there a teacher dismay'd?
Not tho' the instructor knew
Students had blunder'd:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to read and die:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

Exams to right of them,
Exams to left of them,
Exams in front of them
Written and drawn;
Storm'd at with zero’s and dashes,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred.

Flash'd all their pencil’s bare,
Flash'd as they scored from chair,
Sabring the students there,
Charging an army, while
All the world wonder'd:
Plunged toward the mountain o’exams
Right thro' the line they broke;
New seniors and college freshmen
Reel'd from the pencil strokes
Shatter'd and sunder'd.
Then they rode back, but not
Not the six hundred.

Exams to right of them,
Exams to left of them,
Exams behind them
Written and drawn;
Storm'd at with zeros and dashes,
While TL and Reader fell,
They that had read so well
Came thro' the jaws of Death
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of six hundred.

When can their glory fade?
O the wild scoring they made!
All the world wondered.
Honor the charge they made,
Honor the AP readers,
Noble six hundred.

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